Saturday, December 29, 2007

Maybe that was 2007

Well, it's traditional isn't it? You have to look back at the year gone by as well as thinking about the year ahead. The Daily (Maybe) has been following events throughout the year, so let's recap on the highlights of the news this year.

January saw the best looting opportunity of the year as a container ship was wrecked off the south coast. Those who mourn the passing of traditional occupations should be pleased to see the good people of Devon and Cornwall return to their scavenging roots.

Of course there was another storm raging that month - but this one inside the Big Brother house with racist house mates bating the lovely Shilpa Shetty. They got their come uppances of course.

Meanwhile we were busy executing Saddam Hussein. This episode was foul to say the least and did nothing to curb the violence the hell hole we've created out of Iraq.

February saw South Cambridgeshire Councillor Ted Pateman get in trouble for his rather unfortunate inability to understand what you can and cannot say these days. I explained more in my post Let's all be nice to the wogs.

It was also revealed that David Cameron has not always been adverse to a little, ahem, light refreshment. He seems to have survived the "scandal" unscathed though, I'm not sure people care about this sort of thing anymore really.

This was also the month that saw bird flu claim the lives of thousands of Turkeys in Lowestoft. I hosted some discussion on the cause.

In March we had to endure the spectacle of fifteen British service personnel captured and paraded by the Iranian regime. It didn't help that the UK authorities kept lying through their teeth about the whole incident.

There was also the Green Party conference in Swansea that saw the beginning of the process that has culminated in the party adopting a new leadership structure, much to the dismay of the traditionalists.

Locally the houses in my area all received a leaflet asking how anxious and afraid we were to leave our own homes. I didn't think much of it at the time, although things turned out okay in the end.

We also had another local Tory councillor up on charges of racism - but apparently it was alright this time.

In April hitting the headlines was the Miss World contestant whose dress was too politically charged for the sensitive tastes of the competition's organisers.

Locally we had a good sized campaign against the introduction of GM potatoes near by.

May saw Fifa attempt to abolish football in countries like Bolivia. Sort of. But they backed off after international protest. Ha! But this was not the only good news in the world of football. Minnie Crudwell won her fight to be allowed to play with the boys.

Margaret Hodge managed to anathematise herself with stupid, racist remarks on housing. Whilst fellow Labour Party MP John McDonnell was failing to get himself onto the ballot paper for the Labour Leadership election.

The local elections saw the Green Party pass the 100 councillor barrier for the first time, but north of the border in Scotland Greens and Socialists were almost wiped off the board as the electorate decided the big choice was between a social democratic SNP and a neo-liberal Labour Party.

June saw our new Prime Minister don the cloak of an evil genius. As we now know Mr Bean was soon to follow. No I'm not referring to Harriet Harman.

July saw a furious public discussion on the merits of smoking skunks.

Perhaps that's what the police had been smoking when, under the guise of anti-terrorism, they tried to ban everyone from doing anything including going to the camp for climate action. If the cops had been a bit luckier with the weather rain might have stopped play for them. They didn't seem to mind Al Gore's ecological activities though.

Meanwhile across the world the Australian Greens were busy trying to give protesters the boot. The conclusion to this story, in case you missed it, was that Nicola Paris was reinstated but her employers made life increasingly difficult for her and she eventually quit.

August saw prison officers take illegal strike action. That gave us all a fright.

It's also worth bearing in mind this was the month that Presidential hopeful Obama threatened to send troops into Pakistan. Still feeling the urge Mr O.?

More locally the county council thought they might try a bit of congestion charging in Cambridge. Bring - it - on my friends. Bring it on.

September was not only the month on my birthday (the 12th if you'd like to note that in your diaries) it was also the month that Tesco announced their plans to move into Mill Road. People were not happy.

Anita Roddick died and will be sadly missed (although not by one person in the comments box)

The month of October will be remember by International Development minister Shahid Malik as the time he was detained by US anti-terror police. The cheek. Never mind Gordon Brown was musing about introducing a national motto.

Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize, which I'm 90% happy about, churlish sod that I am.

The big news of November was that the Ozzies had kicked out the Tories. At last.

Meanwhile the French were taking things to the streets in stupendous style.

But because we're British we just let Sir Ian Blair stay in post. He must think we're all born yesterday.

Then there was December. There's one story that obscures all the others, the assassination of Benzir Bhutto. On a happier note both UKIP and the BNP look to be in trouble. Let's wish them all the worst for 2008 shall we?

6 comments:

Jens Winton said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jens Winton said...

Many a person have predicted that we in UKIP are on our last legs. Yet we confound cynics like yourselves by still being around. I can assure you that your ill will for us will do nothing but make us more determined to play our role in bringing back democracy to the UK. The future of the country is at stake, and we have little time for your ill-founded disdain.

Phil said...

Lol, Jens may have "little time" for your disdain, Jim, but still felt it necessary to have a pop! I do hope the BNP and the UKIP go down the tubes, but where the former are concerned the material circumstances are very much there and I wouldn't be surprised if they pull off a creditable electoral performance, despite their difficulties.

Btw, have I said I like your redesign?

Anonymous said...

6 months Jen and you still havn't updated your blog!

Jim Jepps said...

jens: may I wish you the happiest of new year's personally - although sadly not politically.

phil: I think UKIP may actually have a problem too.

What with the behaviour of their motley gang of MEPs (what's left of them) high profile defections (eg both their london AMs) and possible financial irregularities, at least that's what some of the members are claiming.

We shall we.

Jim Jepps said...

Oh, and thanks on the redesign comment.