Nukes in the news

We've had a couple of wonderful nuclear stories recently, designed to make us feel safe and cosy in our unirradiated beds.

The first one was the hilarious news that the new operators at nuclear waste dump for Sellafield had discovered that the paper work on what had been buried was sketchy at best and had felt the need to take out an advert which said;

"LLWR are looking for nuclear industry employees who have worked at Sellafield and have been involved in the consignment of waste to the Low Level Waste Repository near Drigg... We are very keen to speak to people who were directly involved in consigning nuclear waste during the 1960s to the mid-1980s in order to build up a comprehensive picture of the waste inventory in the trenches."

It seems that the new company have little idea of what lies lurking beneath the surface of the Low Level Waste Repository which has largely been capped and sealed off for some time. We'll have to see whether ex-workers can remember what they put and where. I'm sure it isn't just the company that would be interested in knowing what's been dumped at the site.

The managing director Dick Razz (such a cool name) has described taking on his new role as an "exciting time" although whether this is a bit too exciting he doesn't say. Anyway he is quick to point out that everything is hunky dory down at the atom factory so we can all cool our heels and chillax. Anyway - these problems are all from the old days, we never lose information these days.

Secondly we have the news that two of our nuclear submarines have rammed each other out in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean somewhere. It's reported that the British and French subs CRASHED into each other causing severe damage.

HMS Vanguard and Le Triomphant, both equipped with state of the art detection equipment, carry a nuclear reactor and nuclear weapons - although both governments were eager to reassure everyone that we're all completely safe and, honestly, they would they us if we weren't - wouldn't they?

CND, those old commies, said;

“This is the most severe incident involving a nuclear submarine since the sinking of the Kursk in 2000 and the first time since the Cold War that two nuclear-armed subs are known to have collided. These dangers are inherent whilst the British government maintains its 1960s’ policy of having at least one nuclear-weapons submarine sailing round the Atlantic 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. HMS Vanguard is likely to be confined to port for months with a multimillion pound repair bill. Gordon Brown should seize this opportunity to end continuous patrols, building on Barack Obama’s recent moves to downgrade the alert status of US nukes.”

I'm so glad that millions upon millions of pounds go into these white elephants. It makes you proud don't it? I mean we could be wasting that money on hospitals or modernising our infrastructure. Still it keeps everyone on their toes I suppose.