25 things meme

I don't do memes very often but I've been a tagged a number of times now and, with another one on left wing influences waiting in the wings, I thought I'd better crack on with it. The idea is pretty simple, simply twenty five little asides about me.

In no particular order;

1. When I was in Denmark I realised just how filthy English cities were, but somehow the order and sensibleness of it all repelled me on a fundamental level.
   
2. The only exams I took at school were 'O' levels, the year before they changed to GCSEs. My Dad did 'O' levels the year they came in.
   
3. I applied to be a gunner in the RAF when I was a teenager but bottled out at the last minute because I thought it looked like too hard work.
   
4. When I was at school I longed for a Soviet invasion. I forget why I thought the sight of Red Army tanks rolling down Bishop's Stortford high street would have been so glorious. My position is more nuanced now.
   
5. It is my secret shame that I would prefer people to think that I'm funny than right. Although both are obviously preferable.
   
6. My accent often changes according to my mood or situation. This goes well beyond having a telephone voice. It makes me wonder whether I have a real accent at all, although this is probably the product of having been brought up on a border and then moving around a lot.
   
7. I think traffic wardens do a socially necessary job and I find the lazy sneering at them to be the worst kind of sheep consciousness.
   
8. I took Latin at school, but managed to get a U in the exam (ungraded / less than 5%). It was well deserved.
   
9. The most popular petition I ever helped organise was to 'sink the royal yatch' when the Queen decided she needed a new royal yatch off the tax payer, but wasn't going to give up her old one. They were queuing down the street.
   
10. I've been to Glasgow once. I'd only been off the coach for two minutes when a man in bright red hair and a kilt abused me for being English. Very surreal.
    
11. I'm convinced that my love of cats is wholly reciprocated.
    
12. I admire misanthropy. However, once you start creating exceptions to the hate it becomes bigotry, and that is wrong.
    
13. My dream job would be editing a London only, leftfield community website.
    
14. My first memory is from my fourth birthday. I got a cowboy rifle which was the most fantastic thing I could imagine.
    
15. I keep meaning to become vegetarian again but my previous failed attempts (some of which lasted years) keep putting me off even trying.
    
16. I genuinely want England to lose at all sporting events they take part in. This is not a pose or a statement or a political line but a visceral, emotional and personal response to shouty, aggressive drunks celebrating something they have not contributed to.
    
17. My first job after leaving school was at Hayters lawnmower factory in Spellbrook (Essex).
    
18. I agree with the criticisms of the Pope but can't rid myself of the feeling we've just been very rude to a guest in this country.
    
19. It annoys me when people think it's working class to swear, and unworking class to read.
    
20. There was a time when I thought having an email account, using a mobile phone and drinking in coffee shops were all utterly reactionary. These things now form the bedrock of my life.
    
21. I think suicide is a legitimate choice that anyone should be able to make without shame, not just people with terrible illnesses or depression.
    
22. When I lived in Harlow my favourite food became the raw cabbage sandwich (with salad cream). I never ate one before moving there and I've not eaten one since moving away.
    
23. When people say that they "speak their mind" I automatically assume they mean they're malign, mean spirited, big mouths.
    
24. I know far more than I need to about dog poo. I also collect photos of council dog poo signs.
    
25. I used to sing in a choir, and have even performed solos in whacking great Cathedrals. It goes without saying that I still have the voice of an angel.