The best book keeper in the world

Every now and then my boss decides to take me to one side and subject me to ten, fifteen minutes of unrelenting, unmitigated praise. It's one of the most uncomfortable and embarrassing things in my life which, I understand, is technically "nice" and better than him ranting at me for being useless... but still... the bastard, I have to look at him while he does it and everything.

This week was that time again and we went for coffee round the corner. The weird thing was though, during this stream of complements he let slip one aside.

"Admittedly you're not the best book keeper in the world."

Now, seeing as book keeping is kind of central to my role, and if nothing else is done properly this must be, it did make me think "Oi!" and the other hundred things he said about how brilliant I am basically went out the window as I homed in on this unguarded comment.

Of course, if taken literally not being the best in the world is something that could presumably be applied to all but one of even the most shit hot book keepers so it's not exactly an insult - but we never use it to mean that - we always mean that someone's a bit rubbish. Tut.

Anyway, it wasn't anything I didn't know already and I think half the workers are going to read this and think "Hold on, my boss called me a miserable worm who should know my place last week and that was a good day" but I hope you see what I'm driving at. Not only was I subjected to an extended blushing embarrassment session it also turns out I'm not an Olympic standard numbers man - I might as well go on the dole and just get out of everybody's way!